You have to drink to meet people. At least that’s how it feels sometimes.
My name is Jacob. I’m a 23-year-old from Kentucky, fresh into my full-time job. I spent the past five (yes, five) years in college, juggling extracurricular activities, class assignments (I was business, so don’t be too impressed), and late, late, late nights drinking—both on weekends and during the week.
It was great, honestly. I met a ton of people, made foggy memories to last me forever, and learned the ins and outs of different varieties of beer. I was also known to go all out for karaoke.
But as I entered my final semester and looked forward to full-time employment, something began to change. The hangovers were getting worse, the bloating from drinking 9000 carbs on a Thursday began to show, and the realization that I probably spent the equivalent of my tuition on drinks at the bars triggered the beginning of an aversion to the liquid pastime I was once so fond of.
I spent my last semester of university in Thailand and around South-east Asia, and when I came home and geared up to start working a full-time, big-boy job, I knew I wanted to change my ways for good. But genuinely, how? When you’re living at home with your parents, working close to 50 hours a week, what other outlet is there than occasionally going to bars? I mean, sure, there’s fitness, and I have been dedicating myself to my diet and routine, but you can only work out for so many hours a week (unless you’re a psycho). Okay, but what about reading? I hadn’t finished a book in years, and now I’m reading close to two a month, so that’s a marked improvement in my eyes. And I’ve even been exploring my faith and working on some creative projects with friends.
But none of these scratch that need for social exploration that the gentle, caressing buzz of three Michelob Ultras and a conversation with a stranger about if LeBron could have played in the NFL at 1:00 a.m. does.
What I, and I’m sure many young men and women my age, desire is a place to go and forget about the professional front we put on at work or our nagging roommates (in my case, that would be my parents) and just flow in and out of conversations with both friends and strangers—some deep and thought-provoking, and some that instantly vaporize the brain cells of even those who just happen to overhear them.
And let’s face it. A lot of us want to meet girls or guys in the hopes of dating them or getting to know them better. And lord knows alcohol can be the ultimate wingman in these situations, so it’s really no wonder the bars and clubs and house parties of the world serve as the perfect vessels for these interactions.
But alcohol sucks. At least the consequences of drinking it do. After your 500th hangover, you get to the point where the throbbing headache, anxiety, and weird taste in your mouth from the Taco Bell you drunkenly devoured the night before are no longer fun. And that’s where I’m at. College is over. My drinking prime is behind me. It’s time for other things. This isn’t to say I will never drink again. I like a crisp beer with dinner and a sunset as much as the next guy. But I also feel like there needs to be a place for us 20-somethings to meet people without the sirens (alcohol) singing their sailor song (being present) and luring us into our impending doom (getting wasted).
So, might I discuss the pros and cons of some options:
Run Club – The tried and true. This really seems to be the number two social outlet behind bars. It’s a community oriented around fitness that brings together young, motivated people to do something challenging and support each other through it. As a runner myself, I have yet to try one of these groups out, but it is definitely on my to-do list. But while it’s a nice idea and it seems to work in many cases, the issue is—some people just hate running, or can’t run, or only want to run when the weather is nice.
Travel – Traveling is a great way to meet people. Now I’m not talking about the family beach vacation where you rent a few condos and spend your time drinking by the beach or a pool. I’m talking about backpacking, hostel-jumping, or any trip that takes you out of the hotel spa and into an uncomfortable sleeping arrangement surrounded by strangers. Connections made while traveling in this manner can be deep and meaningful due to their heightened sense of shared experience. However, traveling’s flaws are that it is expensive and, for most people, can’t be done every weekend.
Church Group – Immediately after graduating college, if you aren’t training for a marathon or taking a trip to Japan with the boys, you might be getting back into your faith. And that’s awesome. Religiously affiliated groups are usually a healthy and positive way to connect with yourself and others. But the problem is they are a bit siloed. It is, of course, the point to connect with people of the same faith and values, but as a theologically curious person, I would love to also see an event where individuals of multiple religions are able to connect and get to know more about the other communities. A multi-faith meet-up is something I’ve toyed around with putting together, but it will come with its obvious obstacles.
There are many more options, each with its own set of imperfections—golfing, adult softball, conventions, etc. No social outlet is perfect, but as I navigate this era of my early twenties, I intend to try out as many as I can. Maybe I’ll find one that sticks, or maybe I’ll realize the answer was at the bottom of a Budweiser bottle the whole damn time. I’ll let you know what I find.
